Posted by Anonymous on 2014/07/05 under Uncategorized I’m tired of being alone. It’s luke everyone else has someone they can actually talk to or pour their feelings out while me, I’m just here. I tried being friends with my childhood friend and it worked out well for a year or so but now she started ignoring me and pretends I’m not there anymore. It doesn’t help that her ‘best friend’ is trying to make her avoid me. Since the new seat arrangements in our class I’ve been sitting with 4 students who were friends for as long as they can remember. It hurts and I felt a tinge of jealousy when I hear them talk like sisters when they’re not even related. They know each other so well, I just wish I had at least one friend like that. Today in class I was doing my reading a book when suddenly I heard a loud laugh coming from behind. I knew right away it was my childhood friend’s ‘best friend’ and it just hurts me so bad.When I put my book down I realized that everyone was talking and laughing, even my childhood friend and I felt so left out. I felt like the place I’m in right now is not right for me. It was like everyone was celebrating God knows what and I’m not included.I felt like crying right then but instead I just blocked out my ears pretended I didn’t hear a thing. It didn’t help that much as she had laughed even more and even louder than before. I never knew how miserable it was like to sit in class and close your ears,pretending you don’t hear a thing when in all honesty you just want to break down and cry. I feel so left out nowadays. It’s like I don’t belong anywhere anymore. A year ago when my best friend left me without any warning(she ignored me and found a new girl to be her bestfriend then completely threw me to the side), I put up a cold front. A lot of people thought that I was arrogant and stuff. I never really smiled and when I would answer their questions my answer would be short and uninterested. But being alone drained me. I needed a friend. And thats where my childhood friend comes in. She was transferred to my class and we became friends again. It was like old times. But she had her best friends and she assumed I had one too. So she spent her lunch breaks with them while I spent my lunch break alone. I tried hard not to be close to her like I had been with my best friend coz I felt like she was gonna leave me anytime and I would be sad and broken like the first time. Buy she found out about my sister running off to some country and having a baby there. Telling someone your secret mrans you’re close to them,right? But she starts to ignore me. It’s like history repeated itself again and I’m alone once more. I should’ve learned from the last one. I should’ve stayed alone. The longing for a friend is nothing compared to the hurt of being ignored by your own ‘friend’. I should just be alone.
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I’m assuming you aren’t in high school yet. When you get there, everything changes, you make other friends because you can’t always have the same friends from pre-k to junior high. You get mixed into the upper class men. Which is a good thing, because they’re usually a lot more outgoing then freshmen. I’m saying, let the friends come to you. Don’t search so hard. I’m just like you but I choose to be alone. Not that I want to be alone, I just don’t have a lot of friends. But this past year (grade 10) I made a lot of friends that I never thought I would. So don’t give up, just be patient.